[Music that changes your life plays] Hi this is James from CheapAssReviews and today I’m reviewing the Verizon Wireless prepaid only ZTE flip phone. So yeah! Let me do that! [Splashing sound] [Popping sound] [Swooshing sound] [Donkey sound] Hey it’s Eric and I’m an oafy dufus that’s going to do pointless unboxings, and joking my way through the features that I’ll never care about.
Phsyc! This is a James review and I’m I’m going to get straight to the point. This is a terrible phone. It doesn’t have any of the features you’re accustomed to. Trying to access the internet? Not available.
Check your snaps? Forget about it. How about sending a text while simultaneously receiving one? Prepare to get bounced out of that text thread unexpectedly. Oh but that text will be saved as draft right? Get real, you’re going to have to start over.
Oh and you can decide whether you want to use the keypad to painstakingly type on letter at a time, or save time as I do and use predictive text and never capitalize the first letter of the second sentence.
If you’re wondering if it capitalizes for the third sentence, this is not the phone for you. This phone is not for multi sentence texters. In fact, it’s not for texters. So who is this phone for? Me.
I like this phone because it can do normal phone things like call someone. Like when I call my friend Eric and leave depressing voice messages. Hey Eric I did it again. I got very close to dunking and now I’m laying prostrate on the floor with a sore back.
And guess what? Next week’s spring break. Next week I’ll be in Europe for the week. So I got a 10 hour plane ride ahead of me with a sore back. You’re at your wit’s end. I’m at my wit’s end. What do we do? Do we reevaluate, or do we just call it? [Dial tone] Eric made me put that in the video And oh and by the way, I dunked four weeks later.
And why was I able to dunk four weeks later? Because I wasn’t distracted by my phone. Cus I don’t need to follow a microbrewery on Instagram to get a free sample, or virtue signal by snapchatting my cruelty free ice cream cone because I eat meat that I cook.
Oh you just get your meals from Uber eats? Yeah, don’t buy this phone and I’ll stay off the grid. That’s how you do a review.